HEY THERE!  I'M SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY!

NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN CREATING YOUR EPIC RELATIONSHIP OR BUILDING THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED? FILL OUT THE CONTACT FORM ON THIS PAGE & LET'S FIND YOUR STARTING LINE TOGETHER!

IF YOU'RE READY TO MAKE EPIC CHANGES NOW, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 15 MINUTE CONSULT!

I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU SOON!

-Robyn

23151 Verdugo Drive, Suite 201
Laguna Hills, CA 92653

714-390-1652

Relationships are messy + delicious. Learn about how Robyn D'Angelo, The Happy Couple Expert uses science to effectively help couples in Orange County, California to master the messiness of couplehood, together.

The Blog

An EPIC Marriage PSA.

Robyn D'Angelo

Relationships aren't alway EPIC. I know this. You know this. Yet we all crave those EPIC moments.

Sometimes, I envy this totes adorable couple. Do you?

Sometimes, I envy this totes adorable couple. Do you?

It's totally cool - there's no shame in wanting some fairy tale version of love. It's what keeps us hopeful when shit gets messy in marriage. It's the stuff we dream + fantasize about. It's what puts a smile on our face when we get those random surprises from our partner. 

But it can also be disheartening if we expect our partners to show up in ways that aren't realistic. Or in ways that WE ourselves wouldn't even do. Sometimes we look at Rom-Coms and feel envy for that woman on the screen whose man surprised her with a weekend getaway, a fancy new dress, or when she is gently (yet firmly) kissed like she was the only person on the planet that he desired. (ooooh I love that one) 

There's no bigger LoveGeek on this planet than me, so I totally get this. 

And yet, in order to actually experience these EPIC LOVE moments, there's one thing that many of us overlook. So, I've written an EPIC Marriage PSA just for you (and it serves as a reminder for me too.)

You've heard various versions of this PSA with regard to world peace, success in your career + even finding that special someone. 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."  -Gandhi
"Dress for the job you want, not the one you have."  -My Dad  
"Be the person you want to fall in love with."  -Danielle LaPorte

So, here's MY version for creating your epic relationship that lasts: 

"Be the EPIC person you want to love you through all the hard shit." 

That's it. Nothing too fancy. Nothing too complicated. Just start with being that person you most desire. 

Here are just a THREE ways you can start to do this, TODAY:

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1. Wake up tomorrow morning, look at your partner and say this: ""I love you. Do you know that? Do you know that even though we've been too busy for date nights, too tired for sex, + honestly too annoyed with each other to even hang out like we used to ... I love the hell outta you." 

2. Ask yourself daily: What's one thing I could do today that would relieve pressure from my partner? What's one thing that could put a smile on their face? What's one thing that would make them feel loved? {Then do it. One thing. Every day.} 

3. Ask yourself daily: What's one thing I could do today that would put a smile on MY face? How can I take care of myself so that I have energy, desire + interest in my partner? Can I book a massage? Can I go for a run? Can I get a sitter for the kids tomorrow night? Can I get tickets to a movie + go solo? Can I carve out 15 minutes to read this book that I've been wanting to dive into?

In order to have that EPIC marriage, and to be that EPIC partner you've got to start thinking about YOU! If all you do is give, give, give through out your day, you will have little to nothing to give your spouse. 

And here's the kicker ... you ready for this?

When you're depleted, it's nearly impossible to RECEIVE!

You read that right. When you're exhausted, feeling unappreciated, disconnected, + annoyed with how much you are giving ... it will be quite impossible for you to accept + appreciate all those EPIC love gestures from your partner that you CRAVE. 

So, let me know how it went. Try out these three SIMPLE steps in being that EPIC person you want to love you through all the hard shit. 

And if you're still struggling, maybe you two need a quick deep dive. Check out the 1-Day Couples Intensives that I offer. It just may be what you and your spouse need to reconnect! 

Crush the Criticism in Your Relationship

Robyn D'Angelo

When it comes to getting your needs met, there's ONE BIG nasty communication habit that most couples struggle with. CRITICISM. 

In today's video I give you the THREE STEPS you need to follow to CRUSH THE CRITICISM.

Did you get all that Criticism Crushing Info? 

Complaining without Blaming your partner is the KEY to getting your needs met. It's simple. And with enough practice, you will be well on your way to mastering the messiness of couplehood. 

Complain Without Blame: Three steps to Crushing the Criticism.** 

1. State how you're feeling using an emotion word.

2. Describe the situation (NOT YOUR PARTNER).

3. Make a request. 

** Watch the video for full details + examples.

Loved this video and want to catch it live next time? Head over to: https://www.facebook.com/TheHappyCoupleExpert/ and "Like" the page. Then be sure to tune in every Wednesday at 12pm pst | 3pm est for your Mid-Day #LoveBreak where we tackle YOUR most burning relationship questions. 

 

How to Repair Your Relationship After a Fight

Emily Porta

Feeling like you're having the same fight over and over again?  Is it causing your relationship to veer in a direction you don't love?  Well, you need a relationship repair and I'm here today to tell you how you can start the mend and get back on track!

 Click Here or click the image below to watch more!

 
 

Your relationship does not have to be hanging by a thread in order to start making minor shifts. Most couples that I work with will say they are the 80/20 couple. 

80% of the time they are really, really good. And 20% of the time, they're bad. Really, really bad. But no one is ready to throw the towel in. They just need some tools to move through that messy, shitty 20% of the time. Relationship Repairs is one of the MANY ways you can start connecting deeply with your partner by allowing conflict to bring you closer together vs pushing you further apart.

Can you imagine that? Post-fight, you're actually feeling more in love with your partner? It's totally possible. I do this often.  And I teach people just like you how to do just that. Daily. 

If this resonates so deeply with you that you want more? Reach out! I would be honored to speak with you about how I can support you in mastering the messiness of couplehood + create that epic relationship you deeply desire and truly deserve. 

Click HERE to schedule a FREE 20 minute phone call. Let's get you unstuck + moving in the direction of living a happy + fulfilling life. With the love of your life. 

Building Trust in Your Relationship

Robyn D'Angelo

Last week's blog addressed the question that all couples are constantly thinking/asking (mostly subconsciously), "Can I trust you?"  

As promised, this week we're talking about how to get more "Yes!" answers to that question. 

CLICK HERE >> quick video or the image below for simple tips + tools that you can use to start building trust or strengthening what's already there. 

 

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

Can I trust you?

Robyn D'Angelo

Trust. It's one of the cornerstone's of every relationship. It's what we yearn for. It's something we prides ourselves on when it's strong. And it's something we are shameful of when it's broken. 

It's also something that is broken, over and over and over again, every single day. Even in the most healthy of relationships. The relationships that aren't touched by infidelity. The relationships that aren't touched by emotional abuse. The relationships where both people look happy and in love.

Couples who deeply love one another. Cherish each other. Are faithful and consider themselves "a good partner" are committing betrayals on a daily basis.

If you're scratching your head at this point, let me explain.

Women are wired to view the world through a lens of "Am I safe?" which means she is constantly scanning her environment checking for signs of danger. Warning signs that something should be avoided. People, places and things that don't give her a feeling of comfort, ease and safety are to be avoided for self preservation.

In addition to constantly (subconsciously, by the way) scanning her environment, listening, looking, sensing for danger to be avoided she has another question that is constantly comes up ... and this one she shares with her male counterpart.

CAN I TRUST YOU?

This is something that both partners in a couple are subconsciously thinking. And each time they "ask" or think this, they get an answer. This is where couples betray and break one another's trust. over and over again, on a daily basis.

The most damaging betrayals are the everyday ones. The ones that pile up over time as you and your partner consistently ask and answer the question, “Can I trust you?”

“Can I trust you to pick up dinner? To listen to my feelings? To not drink too much at that party? To respect my opinion? To give attention to our kids rather than the television? To choose me? For better and for worse? Over? And over?”

When the “Nos” begin to pile up, you start to look for “Yes” in other places. The extra glass of wine. The stay-at-home dad with the great smile. Your sister. Opportunities for full blown betrayal are everywhere.

But there's hope. There's something you can do differently and it sounds like this:
“Can I trust you?”
“Yes.”
The trick is learning how to get to Yes more often.

Showing up for your partner with more "Yes's" creates less opportunities for those daily betrayals. AND it helps the two of you to actively build trust. Strengthen your foundation and feel more secure. Which means more "yes" answers when she asks, "Am I safe?" and "Can I trust you?"

Stay tuned for HOW TO GET MORE YES's next week.

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

 

What motivates you?

Robyn D'Angelo

Yesterday I was being interviewed by a local high school student. She reached out to me because she is doing her senior project on "What makes a healthy relationship?" and she found me online!

She asked the best questions. She really got me thinking. She got me remembering past clients, some friends + their relationship issues and even previous struggles in my own marriage. 

I watched her eyes widen, her jaw drop and giggles now and then as I talked about the complexities of relationships. It was so refreshing to share what I've learned + taught over the last many years, with such a young woman.

I lost count after the 5th time I heard her say, "Wow, I've just never thought about it like that. I wish I knew this stuff a long time ago." {You and me both, sister} lol

So her question about, "What about if you ask you partner to do something and they just keep NOT doing it? And you get more and more mad? How do you get them to do what you want?" 

Part of my answer was about learning to deeply understand your partner and why it is they do what they do. That simply trying to get them to believe, do, or say what you want them to isn;t going to work. AND another part of my answer inspired today's video on what motivates you. 

CLICK THE VIDEO BELOW and leave a comment ... what motivates you in your relationship?

Pain or pleasure? What Motivates you in your relationship? Every action we take, ever word we speak and everytime we choose to do or say NOTHING is in an attempt to either FEEL PLEASURE or AVOID PAIN. So ... what motivates you in your relationship?

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

How to Love your partner, when they're LEAST lovable.

Robyn D'Angelo

It's only 2 days post-Valentine's Day and I just feel sad. 

I saw the most romantic + grand Valentine's Day gestures posted all over social media. I saw roses, and candles, and trips, and those super cute bitmojis depending on your mood:

 But you know what I saw a lot of too? I saw quite a bit of #HusbandShaming and it made me super sad. 

Women were passive aggressively commenting about how their man hadn't QUITE lived up to their expectation. And don't get me wrong, I have totally felt let down by my man, there's no question about it, but publicly shaming him has never been an option for me. 

I noticed that when I read these posts, I never sided with the women who posted them, even if they were some of my best gal pals for even family members, but I felt bad for their man and I kind of thought their actions were a bit distasteful. And that's why started this post off with,  I just felt sad. 

So I wanted to share something I wrote last year about loving your partner when they are least lovable. When we are feeling so let down by them, or so disappointed by what they did or did NOT do ... this is a great resource for you. And I wrote it out of my own experience of being let down, so please know that I GET IT. 

Click the button below to read all about how to LOVE your partner when they're least lovable. I promise it will help you when you need it most. (or pass it on your partner - 'cause let's face it, we're all a little hard to love now and then.)

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

Three FREE Tools for Immediate Relationship Help!

Robyn D'Angelo

First off HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! The Happy Couple Expert (and I) have been bringing you EPIC relationship advice, support and guidance for one year! 

Now, watch the video below to get your three FREE tools for immediate relationship help that you can start using TODAY! 

#1 CLICK HERE >> The Happy Couple Expert You Tube Channel

And check out all 130+ videos and let me know what your faves are! Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to get all the latest + greatest!

#2 CLICK HERE >> The #LoveGeek FB Community  

For the ladies only! Come learn all that you need to know to thrive in love and create your EPIC relationship that lasts! (live Q+A every week with ME is totally worth it)

#3 CLICK HERE >> FREE 20 minute Consultation Phone Call

This is if you're ready to make changes to your life + your love. Tell me all that you're struggling with and let me give you strategies you can use immediately to make changes in your relationship. And who knows ... perhaps we end up working together! 

 

Dealing with rejection + disappointment in Relationships

Robyn D'Angelo

CLICK THAT HANDSOME FACE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

What if I told that when you feel rejected or disappointed that it's not HIM who is responsible for how you feel but it's YOU? (Would you hate me a little bit and mouth 4 letter words at me?) 

You see, when you feel let down by your partner it's usually because you had some sort of expectation in place. Often times, those expectations are kept to yourself. We think they should just KNOW. Right? 

"I've been with him for how long now? It's ridiculous that he still doesn't KNOW that I only love drinking coffee out of my BIG mugs!" Or How can he seriously not remember that you have your Yoga class every Tuesday night at 7pm? Oh and here's a good one: How can he NOT remember that your one, cashmere red sweater is literally the ONLY piece of clothing you own,  that does not go in the washing machine?!?!

Is any of this sounding familiar? Well sometimes we forget to to tell them the things we expect (hope) they remember. Sometimes we think they notice what we're doing and hope they remember. But I will tell you right now, if you want your partner to reject + disappoint you less, you've got to share your expectations + wishes with them. MORE THAN ONCE. 

AND ... you're not going to like this, but you're going to have to BE GENTLE with him and GRANT HIM SOME GRACE when he forgets, messes up and completely lets you down. (because it will happen, now and then). Yes, you my friend, are the one who has to deal with your rejection or disappointment in a way that does not make him feel like he's a complete piece of shit who can't do anything right. (because when you scold him for messing up, he feels like a failure. A COMPLETE failure). 

And the same goes for your rejection. No, it's never nice to feel rejected, ever. Ever ever. But your partner has to feel that it's OK to say no to you, for whatever reason, when they legitimately don't want to smell, do, eat, look at, read, or say something or go somewhere with you AND not feel like they are completely ripping your beating heart right out of your chest. (yes that's a bit dramatic but so are our reactions to being rejected, sometimes) 

Just like no means no for us gals, your man has every right to say no when he feels a true no in his heart. Now, that is not to say that you have to simply accept his rejection. I think it's completely valid to ask for clarification if you're confused. It's also helpful to share with him how it makes you feel when you get rejected (because at the end of the day, it's the MEANING you attach to his rejection that's got you in a tissy). 

So, what do you think? Will you take these sage words of advice the next time you're feeling rejected or disappointed? I certainly hope you do, because I for one, am ROOTING for your relationship. And this will help the two of you to create that EPIC love that you so desire and deserve.

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community.  

 

Staying Positive in Love!

Robyn D'Angelo

Staying positive in love 100% of the time is totally not possible nor ideal. Who wants to be little positive PollyAnna all the time? It may SOUND like a good idea but in reality it's the tough times that give us opportunities to get vulnerable and connect.

For those of you looking for a few ways to up the positivity in a not so happy relationship - here are just three things you can start doing TODAY to create a little more joy and positivity in your relationship. 

 

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

E.P.I.C Love ... What you need to know!

Robyn D'Angelo

So many people scoff at the idea of love being EPIC. Trust me, as The Happy Couple Expert + self proclaimed #LoveGeek who believes in "Creating Epic Relationships that last," I hear from all the haters, non-believers and naysayers. They don't hold back and that's totally OK. It fires me up even more + inspires me to show up with more proof. More strategies that work. And mostly more HOPE ... because they are definitely lacking that. 

Here's the thing, YOU are the one who gets to define EPIC love. You get to decide what's included, what isn't allowed and what you'll tolerate. Remember, EPIC is not without pain, suffering, and discomfort. Think about any EPIC movie you've seen, any EPIC novels you've read or maybe even EPIC fails you've watched on YouTube. There's usually some mixture of pleasure + pain.

EPIC is defined as: a long poem, typically one derived from ancient oral tradition, narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures or the history of a nation.


I for one certainly see my EPIC love story (my relationship with my husband) as one that will last a long time, where we are the heroic legendary figures and we have deeds + adventures together. 

Today's video is all about how YOU can start defining what EPIC love means to you. What you WANT your epic love to look, feel, sound like.

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community

 

 

New Year, New You, New Love

Robyn D'Angelo

It's that time of year ... and you know it well, I'm sure.

Everyone is talking about New Years Resolutions. Maybe you're making to do lists, checking into gym memberships, researching the how-to of meal planning. This is what we do. We think about how we want "Next year to be better."

But what if you slowed down just a little bit and created space to do something a little different this year. What if you slowed down and looked at what it's going to take to meet your goals vs simply accomplishing them?

One of the easiest ways to do this is to book a date night (or date lunch, coffee, or walk) and CHAT. Just talk. The most successfully connected couples are couples who talk to each other. Often.

So I've create something JUST FOR YOU to get those convos started. I've created a list questions to help you and your partner learn to LOVE + BE LOVED, better. These are questions that will help you and your partner not only create connection but to get your New Year off to a well informed year. 

The more you know about yourself, your partner and your LOVE, the better chances you have of creating an EPIC relationship that lasts. 

 

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

 

VIDEO TIP: How to Love Your Stressed Out Partner

Emily Porta

Thank you so much for joining me in our seventh edition of the How To Love Your Partner series.  Today, I'm going to talk to you about how to love your stressed out partner.  I felt like this was appropriate for the holiday season.  Check out this week's videofor three quick tips.

Often times, the holidays can reek havoc on our relationships.  So, I'm going to give you three simple ways to learn to love your partner just a little bit more when they're extremely stressed out. 

I call these the "Three Rs" and they're really simple. 

1.  Review your ROLES.  Take a look at how do you and your partner show up in your day-to-day.  Are you typically the one who is out getting things ready for holiday parties?  Are you sending invitations?  Are the one sending out cards, getting presents together, coordinating each other's schedules?  Or is that your partner?  Review in your mind your role compared to your partner's, and how you both contribute.

2.  Make a REQUEST.  Go to your partner and say, "I want to sit down and take a look at what's coming up in the next couple of weeks.  Let's take a look at our schedules. Let's look at holiday parties, shopping, all of these things.  And let me know how I be a support to you."  It's that simple.  Ask: "Do you need help with certain things?  Give me things to do.  Let's delegate.  Let's split these up, divide and conquer."  This really tells your partner, "We're a team.  And I want to help you get through this.  I also understand how stressful this can be and I'm here to help." 

3.  REJOICE.  Celebrate together.  Celebrate those things that your partner has entrusted in you and verbalize that to your partner.  Let them know how much you appreciate them being able to confide in you, being able to depend on you. It says a lot when you can go to your partner and say, "Thank you so much for being able to receive my help and support, and for being able to depend on me."  Because that adds value to a relationship.  This is also positive reinforcement.  You're telling your partner, "This is really good.  This feels good. Thank you."  And your partner's brain loves that, whether they know it or not. 

I hope this has been helpful, but if you still want more tips and tools on how to really love your stressed out partner, especially during the holidays, feel free to contact me directly at 714-390-1652. 

Take a Solo Trip to Reconnect with Your Partner

Emily Porta

 
 

Hi there! I'm getting ready to go on a trip without my husband.  And I get excited about this for a couple reasons, because I know the importance of space and time away from my partner.  I'm not excited to get away from him.  I'm excited to go do something that I've had planned that I know is both for my business and for pleasure, to connect with friends, because I know when I go and take care of myself, I am more alive and I feel inspired and I'm more motivated. 

When I come back to my partner, it completely changes the way we connect.  It changes how we engage with one another.  It changes how we relate to one another and it enhances our relationship. And I share this with you because I encourage you to look at your schedule and look at just your lives and do you have space to create, not to make, but to create and actively go and schedule something just for you? Whether it's business related or personally, you know enriching. 

Can you do that?  In the next week or two, can you take a look at your calendar and schedule something so that when you go away, you can recharge, get revived and return to your partner a new person? 

Alright and I want to hear from you-- what did you guys decide to do? And how did it go when you returned back and talked with your partner?  Remember, it's all about taking care of us, so that we can show up the best version of ourselves for our partners. 

Make A Decision!

Emily Porta

 
 

Life is nothing but a series of choices.  And I say that in the context of relationships, because oftentimes I get my clients and people in general just kind of asking me, "Well, what do I do when I just feel like somethings not fair or I really truly feel like I'm in the right and they're in the wrong and I just need them to see me and hear me and I need them to change their minds?"  

You have a choice.  We always have choices and in a moment, your relationship can change simply based on a choice you make.  So if you are trying to connect with your partner or you're having a fight or you've just had a fight, think about your choice of what you're going to say, how you're going to respond.

Do you choose to turn toward them? Do you choose to walk towards them when you really just want to run for the hills?  You always have a choice.  

And oftentimes when you choose what's right for the relationship and you think about the relationship, rather than your wants and your feelings and, but what's right for the relationship and you choose according to that, it makes the world of difference.  

So, keep that in mind next time you have a fight or something just really hard comes up.  Think about, "what is my choice right now?" And just make a decision. And then if you don't like the outcome of that decision, make another decision.  That's the beauty in this.  There's no right or wrong decisions, there's just decisions with outcomes.  And then based on how you feel on that outcome, make a different decision.  

So, there you have it.  And if you don't know how to make those decisions or you would like help making those decisions, call me!  That's what I do! I help couples every single day learn how to love and be loved and that includes making decisions.  So, reach out.  Thanks for watching, I'll see you next week!  Bye!