HEY THERE!  I'M SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY!

NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN CREATING YOUR EPIC RELATIONSHIP OR BUILDING THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED? FILL OUT THE CONTACT FORM ON THIS PAGE & LET'S FIND YOUR STARTING LINE TOGETHER!

IF YOU'RE READY TO MAKE EPIC CHANGES NOW, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 15 MINUTE CONSULT!

I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU SOON!

-Robyn

23151 Verdugo Drive, Suite 201
Laguna Hills, CA 92653

714-390-1652

Have a good relationship and want to make it EPIC? Learn about how Robyn D'Angelo, The Happy Couple Expert uses science to effectively help couples in Orange County, California and all over the globe.

The Blog

Building Trust in Your Relationship

Robyn D'Angelo

Last week's blog addressed the question that all couples are constantly thinking/asking (mostly subconsciously), "Can I trust you?"  

As promised, this week we're talking about how to get more "Yes!" answers to that question. 

CLICK HERE >> quick video or the image below for simple tips + tools that you can use to start building trust or strengthening what's already there. 

 

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

Can I trust you?

Robyn D'Angelo

Trust. It's one of the cornerstone's of every relationship. It's what we yearn for. It's something we prides ourselves on when it's strong. And it's something we are shameful of when it's broken. 

It's also something that is broken, over and over and over again, every single day. Even in the most healthy of relationships. The relationships that aren't touched by infidelity. The relationships that aren't touched by emotional abuse. The relationships where both people look happy and in love.

Couples who deeply love one another. Cherish each other. Are faithful and consider themselves "a good partner" are committing betrayals on a daily basis.

If you're scratching your head at this point, let me explain.

Women are wired to view the world through a lens of "Am I safe?" which means she is constantly scanning her environment checking for signs of danger. Warning signs that something should be avoided. People, places and things that don't give her a feeling of comfort, ease and safety are to be avoided for self preservation.

In addition to constantly (subconsciously, by the way) scanning her environment, listening, looking, sensing for danger to be avoided she has another question that is constantly comes up ... and this one she shares with her male counterpart.

CAN I TRUST YOU?

This is something that both partners in a couple are subconsciously thinking. And each time they "ask" or think this, they get an answer. This is where couples betray and break one another's trust. over and over again, on a daily basis.

The most damaging betrayals are the everyday ones. The ones that pile up over time as you and your partner consistently ask and answer the question, “Can I trust you?”

“Can I trust you to pick up dinner? To listen to my feelings? To not drink too much at that party? To respect my opinion? To give attention to our kids rather than the television? To choose me? For better and for worse? Over? And over?”

When the “Nos” begin to pile up, you start to look for “Yes” in other places. The extra glass of wine. The stay-at-home dad with the great smile. Your sister. Opportunities for full blown betrayal are everywhere.

But there's hope. There's something you can do differently and it sounds like this:
“Can I trust you?”
“Yes.”
The trick is learning how to get to Yes more often.

Showing up for your partner with more "Yes's" creates less opportunities for those daily betrayals. AND it helps the two of you to actively build trust. Strengthen your foundation and feel more secure. Which means more "yes" answers when she asks, "Am I safe?" and "Can I trust you?"

Stay tuned for HOW TO GET MORE YES's next week.

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

 

What motivates you?

Robyn D'Angelo

Yesterday I was being interviewed by a local high school student. She reached out to me because she is doing her senior project on "What makes a healthy relationship?" and she found me online!

She asked the best questions. She really got me thinking. She got me remembering past clients, some friends + their relationship issues and even previous struggles in my own marriage. 

I watched her eyes widen, her jaw drop and giggles now and then as I talked about the complexities of relationships. It was so refreshing to share what I've learned + taught over the last many years, with such a young woman.

I lost count after the 5th time I heard her say, "Wow, I've just never thought about it like that. I wish I knew this stuff a long time ago." {You and me both, sister} lol

So her question about, "What about if you ask you partner to do something and they just keep NOT doing it? And you get more and more mad? How do you get them to do what you want?" 

Part of my answer was about learning to deeply understand your partner and why it is they do what they do. That simply trying to get them to believe, do, or say what you want them to isn;t going to work. AND another part of my answer inspired today's video on what motivates you. 

CLICK THE VIDEO BELOW and leave a comment ... what motivates you in your relationship?

Pain or pleasure? What Motivates you in your relationship? Every action we take, ever word we speak and everytime we choose to do or say NOTHING is in an attempt to either FEEL PLEASURE or AVOID PAIN. So ... what motivates you in your relationship?

 

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

How to Love your partner, when they're LEAST lovable.

Robyn D'Angelo

It's only 2 days post-Valentine's Day and I just feel sad. 

I saw the most romantic + grand Valentine's Day gestures posted all over social media. I saw roses, and candles, and trips, and those super cute bitmojis depending on your mood:

 But you know what I saw a lot of too? I saw quite a bit of #HusbandShaming and it made me super sad. 

Women were passive aggressively commenting about how their man hadn't QUITE lived up to their expectation. And don't get me wrong, I have totally felt let down by my man, there's no question about it, but publicly shaming him has never been an option for me. 

I noticed that when I read these posts, I never sided with the women who posted them, even if they were some of my best gal pals for even family members, but I felt bad for their man and I kind of thought their actions were a bit distasteful. And that's why started this post off with,  I just felt sad. 

So I wanted to share something I wrote last year about loving your partner when they are least lovable. When we are feeling so let down by them, or so disappointed by what they did or did NOT do ... this is a great resource for you. And I wrote it out of my own experience of being let down, so please know that I GET IT. 

Click the button below to read all about how to LOVE your partner when they're least lovable. I promise it will help you when you need it most. (or pass it on your partner - 'cause let's face it, we're all a little hard to love now and then.)

LADIES >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

Three FREE Tools for Immediate Relationship Help!

Robyn D'Angelo

First off HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! The Happy Couple Expert (and I) have been bringing you EPIC relationship advice, support and guidance for one year! 

Now, watch the video below to get your three FREE tools for immediate relationship help that you can start using TODAY! 

#1 CLICK HERE >> The Happy Couple Expert You Tube Channel

And check out all 130+ videos and let me know what your faves are! Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to get all the latest + greatest!

#2 CLICK HERE >> The #LoveGeek FB Community  

For the ladies only! Come learn all that you need to know to thrive in love and create your EPIC relationship that lasts! (live Q+A every week with ME is totally worth it)

#3 CLICK HERE >> FREE 20 minute Consultation Phone Call

This is if you're ready to make changes to your life + your love. Tell me all that you're struggling with and let me give you strategies you can use immediately to make changes in your relationship. And who knows ... perhaps we end up working together! 

 

Dealing with rejection + disappointment in Relationships

Robyn D'Angelo

CLICK THAT HANDSOME FACE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

What if I told that when you feel rejected or disappointed that it's not HIM who is responsible for how you feel but it's YOU? (Would you hate me a little bit and mouth 4 letter words at me?) 

You see, when you feel let down by your partner it's usually because you had some sort of expectation in place. Often times, those expectations are kept to yourself. We think they should just KNOW. Right? 

"I've been with him for how long now? It's ridiculous that he still doesn't KNOW that I only love drinking coffee out of my BIG mugs!" Or How can he seriously not remember that you have your Yoga class every Tuesday night at 7pm? Oh and here's a good one: How can he NOT remember that your one, cashmere red sweater is literally the ONLY piece of clothing you own,  that does not go in the washing machine?!?!

Is any of this sounding familiar? Well sometimes we forget to to tell them the things we expect (hope) they remember. Sometimes we think they notice what we're doing and hope they remember. But I will tell you right now, if you want your partner to reject + disappoint you less, you've got to share your expectations + wishes with them. MORE THAN ONCE. 

AND ... you're not going to like this, but you're going to have to BE GENTLE with him and GRANT HIM SOME GRACE when he forgets, messes up and completely lets you down. (because it will happen, now and then). Yes, you my friend, are the one who has to deal with your rejection or disappointment in a way that does not make him feel like he's a complete piece of shit who can't do anything right. (because when you scold him for messing up, he feels like a failure. A COMPLETE failure). 

And the same goes for your rejection. No, it's never nice to feel rejected, ever. Ever ever. But your partner has to feel that it's OK to say no to you, for whatever reason, when they legitimately don't want to smell, do, eat, look at, read, or say something or go somewhere with you AND not feel like they are completely ripping your beating heart right out of your chest. (yes that's a bit dramatic but so are our reactions to being rejected, sometimes) 

Just like no means no for us gals, your man has every right to say no when he feels a true no in his heart. Now, that is not to say that you have to simply accept his rejection. I think it's completely valid to ask for clarification if you're confused. It's also helpful to share with him how it makes you feel when you get rejected (because at the end of the day, it's the MEANING you attach to his rejection that's got you in a tissy). 

So, what do you think? Will you take these sage words of advice the next time you're feeling rejected or disappointed? I certainly hope you do, because I for one, am ROOTING for your relationship. And this will help the two of you to create that EPIC love that you so desire and deserve.

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community.  

 

Staying Positive in Love!

Robyn D'Angelo

Staying positive in love 100% of the time is totally not possible nor ideal. Who wants to be little positive PollyAnna all the time? It may SOUND like a good idea but in reality it's the tough times that give us opportunities to get vulnerable and connect.

For those of you looking for a few ways to up the positivity in a not so happy relationship - here are just three things you can start doing TODAY to create a little more joy and positivity in your relationship. 

 

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

E.P.I.C Love ... What you need to know!

Robyn D'Angelo

So many people scoff at the idea of love being EPIC. Trust me, as The Happy Couple Expert + self proclaimed #LoveGeek who believes in "Creating Epic Relationships that last," I hear from all the haters, non-believers and naysayers. They don't hold back and that's totally OK. It fires me up even more + inspires me to show up with more proof. More strategies that work. And mostly more HOPE ... because they are definitely lacking that. 

Here's the thing, YOU are the one who gets to define EPIC love. You get to decide what's included, what isn't allowed and what you'll tolerate. Remember, EPIC is not without pain, suffering, and discomfort. Think about any EPIC movie you've seen, any EPIC novels you've read or maybe even EPIC fails you've watched on YouTube. There's usually some mixture of pleasure + pain.

EPIC is defined as: a long poem, typically one derived from ancient oral tradition, narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures or the history of a nation.


I for one certainly see my EPIC love story (my relationship with my husband) as one that will last a long time, where we are the heroic legendary figures and we have deeds + adventures together. 

Today's video is all about how YOU can start defining what EPIC love means to you. What you WANT your epic love to look, feel, sound like.

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community

 

 

New Year, New You, New Love

Robyn D'Angelo

It's that time of year ... and you know it well, I'm sure.

Everyone is talking about New Years Resolutions. Maybe you're making to do lists, checking into gym memberships, researching the how-to of meal planning. This is what we do. We think about how we want "Next year to be better."

But what if you slowed down just a little bit and created space to do something a little different this year. What if you slowed down and looked at what it's going to take to meet your goals vs simply accomplishing them?

One of the easiest ways to do this is to book a date night (or date lunch, coffee, or walk) and CHAT. Just talk. The most successfully connected couples are couples who talk to each other. Often.

So I've create something JUST FOR YOU to get those convos started. I've created a list questions to help you and your partner learn to LOVE + BE LOVED, better. These are questions that will help you and your partner not only create connection but to get your New Year off to a well informed year. 

The more you know about yourself, your partner and your LOVE, the better chances you have of creating an EPIC relationship that lasts. 

 

ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community. 

 

Take a Solo Trip to Reconnect with Your Partner

Emily Porta

 
 

Hi there! I'm getting ready to go on a trip without my husband.  And I get excited about this for a couple reasons, because I know the importance of space and time away from my partner.  I'm not excited to get away from him.  I'm excited to go do something that I've had planned that I know is both for my business and for pleasure, to connect with friends, because I know when I go and take care of myself, I am more alive and I feel inspired and I'm more motivated. 

When I come back to my partner, it completely changes the way we connect.  It changes how we engage with one another.  It changes how we relate to one another and it enhances our relationship. And I share this with you because I encourage you to look at your schedule and look at just your lives and do you have space to create, not to make, but to create and actively go and schedule something just for you? Whether it's business related or personally, you know enriching. 

Can you do that?  In the next week or two, can you take a look at your calendar and schedule something so that when you go away, you can recharge, get revived and return to your partner a new person? 

Alright and I want to hear from you-- what did you guys decide to do? And how did it go when you returned back and talked with your partner?  Remember, it's all about taking care of us, so that we can show up the best version of ourselves for our partners. 

Make A Decision!

Emily Porta

 
 

Life is nothing but a series of choices.  And I say that in the context of relationships, because oftentimes I get my clients and people in general just kind of asking me, "Well, what do I do when I just feel like somethings not fair or I really truly feel like I'm in the right and they're in the wrong and I just need them to see me and hear me and I need them to change their minds?"  

You have a choice.  We always have choices and in a moment, your relationship can change simply based on a choice you make.  So if you are trying to connect with your partner or you're having a fight or you've just had a fight, think about your choice of what you're going to say, how you're going to respond.

Do you choose to turn toward them? Do you choose to walk towards them when you really just want to run for the hills?  You always have a choice.  

And oftentimes when you choose what's right for the relationship and you think about the relationship, rather than your wants and your feelings and, but what's right for the relationship and you choose according to that, it makes the world of difference.  

So, keep that in mind next time you have a fight or something just really hard comes up.  Think about, "what is my choice right now?" And just make a decision. And then if you don't like the outcome of that decision, make another decision.  That's the beauty in this.  There's no right or wrong decisions, there's just decisions with outcomes.  And then based on how you feel on that outcome, make a different decision.  

So, there you have it.  And if you don't know how to make those decisions or you would like help making those decisions, call me!  That's what I do! I help couples every single day learn how to love and be loved and that includes making decisions.  So, reach out.  Thanks for watching, I'll see you next week!  Bye!

It's Been 15 Years...

Emily Porta

Just a warning, today's blog is full of cussing. Because, well cussing happens when I'm passionate, sad or grateful. You'll get all three today. 

15 years ago my father was diagnosed with cancer. A brain tumor. And if you know anything about cancer, you know that it's non-discriminatory and it's an asshole. (There, I said it. Cancer is an asshole.)

Right around a year later her was dead. It was that fast. As much as cancer was the major asshole in my family's life, I will give it this: it was swift, efficient and caused my father little (physical) pain. Much appreciated. 

Today, I'm reminded of how that asshole came into our world and removed my father from my life. Today he would be 72 years old.  And for the last 14 years, on his birthday (and even on my wedding day, that he missed) I cheers him with a shot of Grand Marnier, his fave sipping liqueur. 

Birthdays were special in my family. 

Every birthday, from elementary school up until the year my father died, he'd send me flowers. He really knew how to make me feel special. It was just one way that I knew he loved me. It was thoughtful. He went out of his way to do something he knew would make me feel special. 

He also openly cherished my mother. And when I say openly, I mean mushy, gushy, lovey, dovey cherished my Mom. Quietly, privately, and gently.

Growing up I saw a hard-working man, who raised 4 daughters and loved his family. He worked a lot. And I mean A LOT. But when he was around my Mom, I noticed them. I paid attention to their love. You could almost feel it. They were quiet yet intentional about how they supported one another. 

He'd call her Poo (short for Nancy-poo) and lovingly pinched her on the butt when she made dinner. I remember catching them dancing in the kitchen once, when they thought no one was around. She giggled and swooned. My brain will never forget that moment. Mom still tells the stories of how he'd take her to fancy conventions, and introduce her as, "This is my first wife, Nancy." (First and ONLY wife, but who's counting?) 

My father showed me what love was supposed to look like. And my Mother's response showed me what it was supposed to feel like. 

You're reading this, so by now you know me. I'm a self-proclaimed LOVE GEEK. You know that I am in love with LOVE and I think I have my parents to blame. Ok, The Notebook, Titanic and even the Little Mermaid may have had something to do with it - but at the end of the day, my parents taught me about love. And for that I am grateful.

They taught me that even when shit gets really hard (and it does!) you show up for and with one another. 

They taught me that when life (kids, work, family, in-laws, illness, weather, finances, etc) happens to you - it happens to BOTH of you. 

They taught me that there's never enough time in the day, so you must MAKE time in the day for one another. 

They taught me that having pet names, pinching butts and slowing down long enough to dance in the kitchen can be the glue that holds love together.

With 2016 being my alcohol-free year, (yeah, that's an entirely separate post!), Sans the Grand Marnier, I say cheers and Happy Birthday to the man who taught me what love is and fueled my obsession with helping others to know it as well. Let's celebrate a man who knew a thing or two about love! 

Holiday Fun with Your Partner!

Emily Porta

 
 

Hi, Robyn D'Angelo here, The Happy Couple Expert and you're relationship coach teaching you how to create your very own EPIC relationship that lasts!  And for those of you that are here in the states, we have a holiday coming up again, that's right, we have Labor Day.  And this is a perfect opportunity for those of you in relationships to connect with your partner and talk about rituals of connection.  

What I mean by this is, when we have a holiday, it's kind of like an organic, what we call, pattern interrupt, right?  So we have this normal, daily routine-- we get up, go to work or we get the kids ready for school.  Well, we have a holiday, which typically means, no work, no school, so that's a pattern interrupt!  We're interrupting the pattern of our normal daily life and these can be wonderful!  

This breaks up the monotony and it gives you and your partner to talk about, how do you want to spend this time?  Maybe it's an opportunity for the two of you to go and spend time apart with friends, do something separate.  However, I really want to encourage you guys to sit down and talk about, how can you spend time together?  

Maybe this is an opportunity to create a new tradition for Labor Day.  Maybe it's an opportunity to continue traditions; however, whatever you do, talk about it! Plan.  Maybe make a plan to not plan.  But, sit down and make time to talk to your partner about hey, we have this  day, what do we want to do with it? And just give yourselves the space to talk and to kind of day dream about the possibilities and the opportunities.  

This says to your partner that it's important-- your time together, quality time, is important.  And that you value their opinions.  So, make time to talk to your partner about this upcoming holiday and go enjoy yourself!  

Leave a comment and let me know-- what did you guys end of doing? Where did you end up going? What did you end of up not doing?  Maybe you binged on Netflix, but regardless, talk to your partner, connect and let me know how it went! 

Love Your Partner Outloud

Emily Porta

 
 

Hi Robyn D'Angelo here, The Happy Couple Expert and your relationship coach, teach you how to create your very own EPIC relationship that lasts.  

I have a question for you: When is the last time you made your partner feel amazing?

 And I don't just mean physically.  I mean when did you just tell the world about them, or brag about them, or share with your friends or your family-- when did you publicly declare, not only your love for them, but your pride in them?  

This support, to a lot of us, and especially now, in this day and age when everything is so public, we have social media, etc.-- it's so easy to get on and talk about things that we're excited about right? New movies are coming out,  or snapping a picture of our favorite food and post it online. It's so much fun to be quick with a video of our kids or our pets doing adorable things and share with everyone.

But, are you making time to publicly profess your love, your appreciation, your fondness, how much you cherish your partner? How proud of your partner you are? I want you to do this.  

I want you to make time this week. Take one action to publicly proclaim your love for your partner and that can be anything that you come up with-- as a matter of fact, I want to hear from you.  What creative ways have you decided to publicly proclaim your love and affection and respect and loyalty to your partner?  

Pick a couple or pick one and share with us in the comments below.  Take the time.  Make the time to love your partner out loud! Alright you guys, I'll see you next week.  Buh-bye!

THE Question You Should Ask TODAY!

Emily Porta

Today I am giving you something that you and your partner can do to reconnect.

So many times I have couples walk into my office saying, "I just don't know how to connect with my partner,"  "I don't know how to make them feel special," or "I need to feel special and I don't know how to tell my partner to do this without hurting their feelings or starting a fight."  

So, I have a question that each of you can ask one another at least once a week.  And it can be any version of this, but the question is,

"What is one thing that I could do today that would take our relationship to a 10?"  

One thing!  And what this does, is it gets your partner thinking about:

  • Things that you do well in the relationship, because you obviously want to do more of that
  • It also gives your partner an opportunity to talk about what they need.  Often times we don't either feel comfortable doing this or maybe we just don't know how to ask for what we need.

 So, there you have it, it's that simple.  Ask your partner AND having your partner ask you, "What's one thing I can do today to get our relationship to a 10?"  See what happens.  

And if this is something that you struggle with, even getting to that question-- I want to hear from you!  It is my goal to get couples all over the world to just connect, to start enjoying one another.  

Life is too short to be in a relationship that you don't enjoy-- that's not EPIC!  So, there you have it, ask your partner this question.  Have them ask you this question.  

And thanks for watching!  I'll see you guys next time, buh-bye!

Love My Crazy!

Emily Porta

Hi, Robyn D'Angelo here, The Happy Couple Expert and your relationship coach teaching you how to create your very own EPIC relationship that lasts.  Today, I've got two words for you: Honest. And Crazy. 

 
 

Hang in there with me.  

Ladies, have you ever seen that Pinterest post or something on Facebook that says, "I just want to find that guy that loves my crazy"? Well, here is why that totally resonates... because we have our moments when we feel out of our minds-- men you have them too!  For some reason, women's moments tend to be highlighted.  

Anyway, the reason I bring up honest and crazy is because when we get really really honest with our "crazy" moments, or those moments where we just feel irrational.  We feel completely separated from reality sometimes in our expectations, in our hopes.  If we can get really honest with our partners about that, we could turn it into a pretty cool interaction.  

Here's an example: 

I was getting ready for family to come into town.  I'm running around cleaning the house and I walk into our kitchen and there's dirty dishes and I look at my husband and he looks at me and I look at the dishes and that kind of goes around a couple times and I just kind of, I finally had to laugh.  

And he said, what's happening right now?  

He was confused and I just said, "I want you to read my mind.  I want you to read my mind.  It doesn't seem that impossible.  I want you to read my mind and say, Robyn wants me to do the dishes and have them done like 10 minutes ago."

And so we had a moment where we laughed but we also had a moment where we got to have a really honest conversation about expectations and we got, we got to the bottom of a couple things and it just it created this environment for a really really cool and honest conversation.

 So, I want to encourage you this week, when you feel your moments of 'crazy' coming up-- those moments where our expectations are just not rooted in reality or they are just exceeding reality, um, have a conversation with your partner.  See if you can make it playful.  

And if you're having trouble doing that and you don't even know how to start-- that's where I come in.  Let me help you guys create an environment where you can have these conversations.  Where playfulness can buffer conflict sometimes.  Call me. I will help you and your partner create this environment, give you new language and help you learn how to get honest with your crazy. Alright you guys, thanks for listening and watching and I'll see you next week! Bye!

How to Apologize in Your Partner's Language

Emily Porta

Today I want to talk about forgiveness and apologizing.  

 
 

You know, according to Gary Chapman who is the creator of the 5 Love Languages, he says that each of us also has an apology language.  How cool is this?  

So, once you can actually learn what your apology language is and your partner's apology language, you guys are pretty primed for success if there is ever any kind of emotional or verbal wound that you cause one another.  

Have you ever noticed that sometimes if you and your partner get in a big fight and you're saying, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." And they just can't hear it.  It doesn't do anything.  Guess what?  Their apology language may not include the words "I'm sorry."  It may be "I can't believe I did that.  I will never do that again."  

It's really interesting to know that we actually have an apology language.  So, what I want you to do is to take 30 minutes out sometime this week, hope online, Google: The Apology Language or 5 Apology Languages and take the quiz. It's free.  It takes like 5 minutes.  

Print out your results that get emailed to you.  You and your partner can both do this and sit down together and talk about your apology languages.  I'm telling you this is going to change the way that the two of you reconnect and come together after there has been a conflict and then an attempted apology.  You create this amazing environment for forgiveness to actually happen.  

So, go check it out and once you guys have these results and you start the conversation and if you just get stuck, call me!  This is where I come in.  This is where we can really get you both on the same page so that you can hear the apologies, accept it and move towards forgiveness.  

Sometimes, we just need a little help.  And if that's you, call me!  We'll do this together.  That's my jam!  Alright, thanks so much for watching and I'll see you next week.  Buh-bye!

LADIES: 3 Things Men Need to Hear {Daily}

Emily Porta

 
 

Ladies, this one is for you!  We're talking about  men; we're talking about your man!

You know men, they need formulas and systems to feel really good, right?  They have something call the left anterior parietal lobe-- say that 10x as fast you can! We have that too, but theirs, theirs is twice as big as ours.  

The function of that part of the brain is that it's the technical part,  so it's fixing the blender, it's tinkering around with a computer.  It's the technical aspects of what the brain in a man loves.  

The reason this is so important to pay attention to is that that part of their brain, when it's stimulated, releases testosterone.  Why do I care if my husband is releasing testosterone Robyn?  Or my boyfriend or my partner?

Let me tell you: when he has a steady flow of testosterone, his stress is lower which means he is primed to connect with you-- that's right!  He's open to it, he's open to receive and he's open to give.  

So I'm going to give you three things that you can stay to your partner that will help release that testosterone and prime him for connection.  So the next time he's talking and takes just a moment of a break, I want you to jump in and say one of these three things:

  1. "That makes total sense."  His brain will love that.  
  2. "What a great idea, I never thought of that!" Again, you're just priming him, you'll almost see his chest puff up and be like yeah!  
  3. "You're right!" This is something that men do not hear enough, so maybe don't sound so surprised when you say it!  

Anyway there's three things that you can start doing today and if this just doesn't feel natural for you or you really struggle with this, call me!  Call me today!  

This is what I help couples and individuals do on a daily basis.  Learning how to shift your language just a tad, so that you create more opportunities to connect with your partner.

 Call me today!  Alright, thanks so much for watching and I'll see you next time!