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The Blog

The Pattern Repeats Itself

Emily Porta

Find yourself doing the same thing over and over again? It's so frustrating. And you stop and wonder, why I am doing this again? How do I end up here every time? And then the critical insults are hurled at yourself, by you, incessantly and then...stop...wait...that is a pattern too. Before you even look at the same type of guy you keep end up dating or how your boss is kind of like your mother only you can't hang up on her when she calls...look at the pattern of how you talk to yourself. 

Patterns repeat. Why? Because we are trying to figure something out. Each time is an opportunity to learn and make a little change. But I think the change first starts within. Before you understand the relationships, choices, career selections, and other areas that are pattern filled, first look at you. Look at how loving, kind and understanding you are with yourself. Planting seeds of compassion are a place to start the change. When you see yourself differently and treat yourself with dignity and respect, those outside patterns will begin to change as well. And at the very least you will have more confidence and internal strength to understand those patterns that aren't working for you any longer.

You might think, "Ok, so I am not so nice to myself, but what can I do about it?" It firsts starts with the intention and observation. Just noticing is the start of a change. Once you start noticing you can set the intention to make a small change. Limit how long you allow the negativity in your head. Use affirmations. Talk to a therapist about the thoughts. And from there the more changes you make, they more they compound. Doesn't mean that this stuff every goes away completely. When we are stressed or overwhelmed, it will pop up again. But that is ok. Just embrace it, accept it, cope with it and let it go. This is practice, not perfection.