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Have You Outed Yourself?

The Blog

Have You Outed Yourself?

Robyn D'Angelo

Hi, Robyn D'Angelo here, The Happy Couple Expert.  I wanted to make a video for those of you who have chosen to live or remain child free, whether you have chosen that strictly by choice or maybe you are child free by circumstance.  What I want to talk about today is: how do you manage when you get questions from family and friends, from strangers even, that feel pretty awful? 

We can call them criticisms, we can call them judgements- some people are downright nasty in their response to you when they ask a simple questions like: "Oh, do you have kids?"  Am I Right?  Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you get this?  Do you hear the responses when you say: "Oh, we don't have kids." Or "No, I don't have children." Or "I've chosen not to have children." 

I will tell you that I hear things like "Oh, wow, that's quite the selfish decision." Thanks.

I've heard things like, "Oh you'll change your mind, don't worry about it."  Uh, I'm in my mid thirties, don't think I will be changing my mind, nor will my partner!  

What about this idea of "Oh, can you just not have kids?"  

I've heard it all, you guys.  I. Have. Heard. It. All. And, I'm venturing to guess, maybe you've heard some things too.  So, I'm wondering, how do you manage the criticism and the judgement and sometimes just the nastiness that you get from people some that you might not even know.  How do you manage?  

I can tell you that for myself and my husband, we have come up with different responses kind of depending on our mood.  We can get kind of tongue and cheek, we can get a little saucy sometimes, a little sassy.  But often times it's just being confident and loving in our response of "We've just chosen to remain child free and we really love our dog and we volunteer and we give our time." I mean, heck, I'm a therapist, I'm a relationship coach.  Most of my days are made up of nurturing relationships and giving support and providing guidance.  I really don't feel that I'm missing out on being a parent and adding value to my life.  

Now, I want to hear from you!  How do you handle those objections, those curiosities, those questions, those judgements from people in your life whether it's family and friends or strangers?  And if you're struggling to answer people with confidence or even to just 'out yourself’ as choosing to live a child free life, contact me.  Let's work together! I'd love to help you craft a response and get really comfortable and confident in talking to people about your choice to remain child free.  

I hope to hear from you soon.  Take care! Buh-bye!