Hi Robyn D'Angelo here, The Happy Couple Expert! In the spirit of Thanksgiving being right around the corner, I wanted to talk a little bit about gratitude. And as you may know, I'm big on the research of Julie and John Gottman and they talk about this 5 to 1 ratio which means for every 5 positive interactions, that there should only be 1 negative interaction in our relationships.
So, what this means is that we are constantly doing little things that show our partners that we appreciate them, that we are grateful for them, that we cherish them and it's the little things that we do every single day that makes them feel loved, cherished and appreciated. And when that happens for every one of those negative interactions where maybe we're just having a bad day or we're frustrated, it doesn't feel as big on the relationship because we constantly have those positive interactions and those positive feelings of gratitude and cherish that come about.
So, the 5 to 1 ratio is really, when you think about it, like an emotional bank account. You are doing 5 deposits for every one withdraw. If you want to think about it that way. So, you're constantly putting in deposit, deposit, deposit into your emotional bank account, it's strengthening your relationship and it's making it to where you as the couple can then withstand when you have those withdraws, when you have the time when you just aren't able to show up for your partner.
Keep that in mind, to help you get through the holidays. Thinking about 'what can you be doing on a daily basis to show your partner that you love appreciate and are grateful for them and how they show up in the relationship?"
Alright guys, I hope that was helpful and I will see you next week! Buh-bye!