What if I told that when you feel rejected or disappointed that it's not HIM who is responsible for how you feel but it's YOU? (Would you hate me a little bit and mouth 4 letter words at me?)
You see, when you feel let down by your partner it's usually because you had some sort of expectation in place. Often times, those expectations are kept to yourself. We think they should just KNOW. Right?
"I've been with him for how long now? It's ridiculous that he still doesn't KNOW that I only love drinking coffee out of my BIG mugs!" Or How can he seriously not remember that you have your Yoga class every Tuesday night at 7pm? Oh and here's a good one: How can he NOT remember that your one, cashmere red sweater is literally the ONLY piece of clothing you own, that does not go in the washing machine?!?!
Is any of this sounding familiar? Well sometimes we forget to to tell them the things we expect (hope) they remember. Sometimes we think they notice what we're doing and hope they remember. But I will tell you right now, if you want your partner to reject + disappoint you less, you've got to share your expectations + wishes with them. MORE THAN ONCE.
AND ... you're not going to like this, but you're going to have to BE GENTLE with him and GRANT HIM SOME GRACE when he forgets, messes up and completely lets you down. (because it will happen, now and then). Yes, you my friend, are the one who has to deal with your rejection or disappointment in a way that does not make him feel like he's a complete piece of shit who can't do anything right. (because when you scold him for messing up, he feels like a failure. A COMPLETE failure).
And the same goes for your rejection. No, it's never nice to feel rejected, ever. Ever ever. But your partner has to feel that it's OK to say no to you, for whatever reason, when they legitimately don't want to smell, do, eat, look at, read, or say something or go somewhere with you AND not feel like they are completely ripping your beating heart right out of your chest. (yes that's a bit dramatic but so are our reactions to being rejected, sometimes)
Just like no means no for us gals, your man has every right to say no when he feels a true no in his heart. Now, that is not to say that you have to simply accept his rejection. I think it's completely valid to ask for clarification if you're confused. It's also helpful to share with him how it makes you feel when you get rejected (because at the end of the day, it's the MEANING you attach to his rejection that's got you in a tissy).
So, what do you think? Will you take these sage words of advice the next time you're feeling rejected or disappointed? I certainly hope you do, because I for one, am ROOTING for your relationship. And this will help the two of you to create that EPIC love that you so desire and deserve.
ALSO >>> If you want to get even more tips, tools + strategies on how to LOVE + BE LOVED, better while hanging with a group of people who are equally as stoked about love as you are ... Come on over and Geek Out on love with me and your fellow #LoveGeeks! We're chatting all about love + life over at The #LoveGeek Community.