Recalibrate through conflict, increase intimacy + deepen your connection.
I work from the approach that all relationships suck now + then. Just like all humans suck now + then. And that’s ok.
I believe that we all think + behave from a culmination of our past experiences: joys, hurts, losses, + triumphs.
When we are in pain, we tend to inadvertently cause those we love most, similar pain.
I am passionate about supporting people who are struggling in their relationships in ways that slow everything + everyone down. Slowing allows you to explore + deepen your understanding of YOU.
Once you have the space to do that, you can discover what parts of you need a little TLC (the infant who was neglected, the child who was bullied, the teenager who desperately wanted to fit in, the young adult who was rejected over + over again, the adult who couldn’t do anything right, etc).
We all have stories. Those stories shape the way we view the world + those within it.
And our view shapes the way we give + receive love.
When you better understand your own story, you create space + grace to get to know your partner’s story as well.
Together we heal + rewrite the stories you’re ready to let go of.
I have completed level 1 + 2 of Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy (RLT Training), which guides both a top-down approach (how you show up in your relationship: behaviors, how you speak to one another, and habits) and a bottom-up approach (learning where your behaviors come from, who taught you how to act or not act the way you do, and how to create new relationships with the parts of our selves that keep us from connecting deeply).
I have completed Level 3 (the highest training level) in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and utilize the evidence-based, research-backed method with all of my couples.
What You Can Expect When Working with Me
My approach is non-traditional. And my clients really like that.
I believe in shorter-term treatment (3-6 months), longer sessions that are weekly or every other week, assigning practical homework, + sprinkling the work with intensive workshops when possible.
Couples working with me start with an initial 90 minute to 2 hour session.
Individuals working with me start with a 50 minute session.
During this time, we can both decide whether I am the best person to provide the services that you need to meet your goals. By the end of the first meeting, I will be able to offer you some initial impressions of what our work will include and an initial roadmap of what working together will look like if you decide to continue.
Most couples I work with require a 90 minute or two-hour session weekly or every other week.
Our work together works from a "top-down" perspective, meaning that we look at how you and your partner talk to one another, show up for one another, treat one another and get really familiar with what is and is not working.
We then move into what's known as a "bottom-up" perspective, meaning we look at where you learned to act the way you do, respond to things the way you do, and show up the ways you do. Together, you learn about yourselves + your partner so deeply that the relationship can't help but evolve.
Lastly, you're given the tools to change how the two of you connect, navigate life together (or separately) and how to create new, healthy relational habits.
The type of homework between sessions ranges from reading books, watching ted talks, writing, seeing individual therapists or psychiatrists (as needed), attending support groups and/or intensive workshops that deepen growth + healing.
My rates vary according to the type of service provided + length of sessions.
I also offer full day private intensives for couples that are local or from out of town.
Partner not willing to do couples therapy?
If your partner is not interested in counseling, I can work with you individually. I work to help couples and individuals whether they are married, single, or dating, to create more satisfying relationships.
Should you stay in this relationship?
The people in a relationship are solely the ones who decide whether they should be there or not. I believe too many people give up on relationships that could have been saved, if only they had access to the right information, were willing to do the work + didn't wait until "the last ditch effort" to get help. I work to give you the best chance possible at succeeding in this relationship, or a future one.
If your goal for therapy is to stay together, I will equip you with the tools, support + guidance necessary to do that. The same goes for deciding to reconfigure or exit a relationship. If you choose to make changes to your relationship, I will help you describe what those could be and how to implement them. If you decide to end your relationship, I will help you do so in a way that respects + honors everyone involved.
Relationship therapy for adults and couples struggling in love, communication, connection, and more | located in laguna hills, california | serving the surrounding irvine, san diego, los angeles, laguna beach, newport beach, rancho santa margarita, costa mesa, san clemente, dana point.