Forgiveness - it's one of the most neglected of all healing arts. But why? There are many questions around this topic and my video gives you 8 things to pay attention to when considering forgiveness. Check back weekly for tips on how to answer these 8 questions and feel successful in forgiveness
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Hello. Robyn D'Angelo here, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Specialist. And, I wanted to talk to you today about forgiveness. What is forgiveness? It's everywhere. I feel like it walks into my office often. Couples coming in asking, "How do we do this? I feel like I should. I want to. I need to." What is it? So, forgiveness is basically when we heal our own inner wounds that have been inflicted upon us by others' wrongs. Right? That's forgiveness. And when we're thinking about forgiveness, there's--I'm sure there's a lot of emotions and thoughts and memories that come up with that. And when you're considering forgiveness, when you're considering forgiving someone, I want you to think about eight things: I want the first thing you think about--I want it to be, "What makes forgiveness work?" The second thing I want you to consider is, "Why do I want to forgive this person in the first place?" The third thing I want you to consider is, "What should I and what should I not forgive?" based on whatever event has happened. The fourth thing I want you to think about is, "How do I know when to forgive?" Think about the timing of everything. The fifth thing is, "Do I resume the relationship once forgiveness has actually taken place? Does it make sense to allow this person maybe back in our life?" The sixth thing is, "Do I tell this person I have forgiven them once it has happened?" Kind of the pros and cons of that. The seventh thing is, "How do you really know once you've forgiven?" What does that look like? Most importantly, what does it feel like? Right? And the very last thing is, "How in the heck do I know if it worked? How do I know if forgiveness has actually happened; if it has occurred?" These are the eight things I want you thinking about. And, at a later time, I'll definitely be giving you tips and tools on how to answer these questions. But for now, think about those eight things the next time that you're considering forgiveness of any kind. And if this has been helpful for you, reach out to me. Let me know. You know, shoot me an email firstname.lastname@example.org or just leave a comment below. I'd love to hear from you, and know what you came up with for some of your answers. And, I will talk to you again soon. Thank you.
[Transcribed by NMS, 4/2/15]