Well hello there.
Looks like you're visiting from the "Fuck Epic Love" space today. Welcome.
Let me start by saying...
welcome to the club.
Sometimes, this LoveGeek is seriously annoyed with EPIC love.
So, you're in good company.
Maybe you're feeling exhausted from doing all the things.
- Making sure everyone has clean clothes.
- Getting everyone to their sports, lessons + performances.
- Grocery shopping.
- Scheduling doctor's appointments.
- Cleaning the house.
I'm sure I've left out about a million other items on your "To Do" list, but did I hit on a few for you?
Yeah, there's a lot that you do. And yet, there's so little that you get in return.
How many times have you laid down in your bed at night, hot tears streaming down the sides of your face, soaking your pillow as you think to yourself ...
"What the hell happened?
How did I get here?
When did this get so hard?"
I've been there.
I know how absolutely maddening it is to feel like you're SCREAMING, PLEADING + BEGGING to be noticed + appreciated.
I know how painful it is to just wish you mattered. To the one person you're supposed to matter to.
And then you get all these messages about EPIC love from social media, and you're rolling your eyes, scoffing and making passive aggressive comments to your spouse.
"Boy, it sure would be nice to come home to someone who was as happy to see me as the damn dog is."
And all you're actually yearning for, is to KNOW + FEEL like you matter.
I'd like to give you this little gift. From me to you. From my heart to yours:
When you slow down + create your own joy, EPIC love is way more possible.
Yep, Slow the Fuck Down. That's my gift to you.
It's been coming up a lot in my work with couples.
It's been coming up in my conversations with friends.
And you guessed it, it's been a theme in my own marriage for a while now.
SLOWING DOWN + MAKING TIME TO CREATE MY OWN JOY.
When we get to the point where we're begging + pleading for ANYTHING, we rarely are satisfied with what we get.
LET ME REPEAT THAT:
When you beg, plead for something, the result is rarely satisfying. And once again, you're let down + pissed off. You're hopeless.
So, what if you started giving yourself the attention that you're craving?
What if you gave yourself the gift of a house cleaner just this one time?
What if you gave yourself the gift of a haircut appointment next week?
What if you gave yourself the gift of a sitter for a few hours, so that you can run errands at your own speed?
Yes, EPIC love is dandy. But when we're so focused on how it's NOT in our world, it's less likely to be seen.
So before you demand that your partner show you that you matter ... how about YOU show you, that you matter?
Give joy to yourself.
Give time + space to yourself.
Give love, freedom + acceptance to yourself.
And then, when you're feeling really WILD, give yourself a little pamper.
Ever heard the saying, You catch more bees with honey?
It works in your relationships, too.
When you're feeling good, from the inside, from SELF-CREATED JOY, you become a magnet for more joy.
So, SLOW down, book yourself some joy, + then see if you suddenly start to matter.
See if you're suddenly more appreciated.
See if you miraculously start receiving that very thing you crave.
To be noticed.
To be appreciated.
And then at some point, to have your very own EPIC LOVE that lasts.