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Filtering by Tag: decisions

Make A Decision!

Emily Porta

 
 

Life is nothing but a series of choices.  And I say that in the context of relationships, because oftentimes I get my clients and people in general just kind of asking me, "Well, what do I do when I just feel like somethings not fair or I really truly feel like I'm in the right and they're in the wrong and I just need them to see me and hear me and I need them to change their minds?"  

You have a choice.  We always have choices and in a moment, your relationship can change simply based on a choice you make.  So if you are trying to connect with your partner or you're having a fight or you've just had a fight, think about your choice of what you're going to say, how you're going to respond.

Do you choose to turn toward them? Do you choose to walk towards them when you really just want to run for the hills?  You always have a choice.  

And oftentimes when you choose what's right for the relationship and you think about the relationship, rather than your wants and your feelings and, but what's right for the relationship and you choose according to that, it makes the world of difference.  

So, keep that in mind next time you have a fight or something just really hard comes up.  Think about, "what is my choice right now?" And just make a decision. And then if you don't like the outcome of that decision, make another decision.  That's the beauty in this.  There's no right or wrong decisions, there's just decisions with outcomes.  And then based on how you feel on that outcome, make a different decision.  

So, there you have it.  And if you don't know how to make those decisions or you would like help making those decisions, call me!  That's what I do! I help couples every single day learn how to love and be loved and that includes making decisions.  So, reach out.  Thanks for watching, I'll see you next week!  Bye!

You can always change your mind

Emily Porta

I often come to the conclusion that there aren't too many black and white choices in life. People ask if a reaction is normal, if they are normal, if what they want or need is normal...and I say, if it works for you why change it and if it doesn't work for you, you can always change it. Too many times we feel that we don't have choices. "This is just the way life is." You may not like some of your choices, but really, there are always options. 

We can become anxious and consumed that we are going to "mess up" which then leads us to believe the world might end. Would you tell that to a child? Would you tell them to not screw up because then they will be stuck in their life?....If it isn't ok to tell a child that, then why is it ok to tell yourself the very same thing? Listen to all the voices in your head. These come in the forms of self criticism, self imposed expectations, shame, guilt, fear, etc. Tell the to be still for a moment. There is no absolute wrong all the time. You can change your mind.

You can learn from your mistakes. You can grow to be better than before. You can try something else. You are never ever stuck. 

I once went to a school, an expensive school, that I just hated. So I left and traveled across a few states and ended up in California. In hindsight it was the best thing I could have done for myself. At the time however, I thought I had just made an awful decision attending this school for a year...what a waste! It wasn't a waste...it shaped me and prepared me for the next decision. AND I didn't stay and be victimized. I got empowered and left. So glad I did. 

What are you stuck in? Why are you afraid of changing your mind? What do you really have to lose? or What could you gain? What greatness and learning could come out of a change in your life? You have one life, be radical with it!