There are two groups of people in relationships: The Masters of Relationships and The Disasters of Relationships. The Masters of relationships are the ones who report being happy and satisfied with their relationship and partner (which includes conflict and I mean LOTS of conflict). The disasters of relationships, among other things, report overall dissatisfaction in their relationships and partners.
In the midst of conflict or the likelihood of it, the Masters of Relationships repair early and often, and they have lots of strategies for how to repair. Dr, John Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action - silly or otherwise - that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.” In using the word “any” it leaves a bunch of room for creativity. And since each and every relationship is different, finding the repair strategies that work for you can actually be a special way for the two of you to connect.
When the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse (Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling) are present in your relationship or any conflict arises, it's important that you know how to repair or get back on track. Check out the Repair Checklist below for magical phrases to help get you and your partner back on track.