HEY THERE!  I'M SO GLAD YOU STOPPED BY!

NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN CREATING YOUR EPIC RELATIONSHIP OR BUILDING THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED? FILL OUT THE CONTACT FORM ON THIS PAGE & LET'S FIND YOUR STARTING LINE TOGETHER!

IF YOU'RE READY TO MAKE EPIC CHANGES NOW, CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR FREE 15 MINUTE CONSULT!

I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU SOON!

-Robyn

23151 Verdugo Drive, Suite 201
Laguna Hills, CA 92653

714-390-1652

Relationships are messy + delicious. Learn about how Robyn D'Angelo, The Happy Couple Expert uses science to effectively help couples in Orange County, California to master the messiness of relationships while learning how to love + be loved, better.

The Blog

Filtering by Tag: seasonal stress

Family Vacation?

Emily Porta

The days are more sunny here in Southern Orange County and people are on spring break. You know what that means? More time with the family! Typically when the kids are out of school for the week, mom or dad end up finding something to do with them. Some families may even take that much needed spring vacation. More time with the kids should be fun and relaxing in theory, but sometimes it can be exhausting and overwhelming. So what do you do with a whole weeks worth of time without feeling like you are losing your mind? 

• Don't break the bank! Do stuff that is free and affordable. Parks, swimming, the beach...you know what I am talking about! Financial stress is one of the top hot buttons for couples and your time off is for creating memories and spending quality time together, not arguing over how much stuff costs.

• Put up a hammock. That's right, kick back and relax a bit. If you are a person that is always on the go, think of what you are teaching your kids. There is something to be said for balance in our lives and teaching our children that they don't always have to be entertained. Kids are shuttled around right after school to tutoring, swim lessons, soccer practice....and more! Is it any wonder that children have more anxiety than ever? There is a time to rest and be sure to put that into your time off. 

• Find your own space. Each person in the family doesn't have to be around each other all the time. Make some room for quality alone time. Do something you love too!

• Get help. If you are overwhelmed, ask for help. You do ask for help don't you? In my experience, asking for what we need can be the hardest thing to do for ourselves. However, taking care of yourself makes you a better parent and teaches your kids the importance of community and support. Maybe you feel alone and isolated. Even if it is asking a family member, friend or neighbor or calling someone you trust, you know you won't have to face the stress alone.

So whether you are on vacation, staying at home, or getting someone to watch the kids the whole week...may you have fun, laughter and joy. We already have enough stress in our lives, why create more of it?

MBSR

Emily Porta

MBSR is Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. I am taking a 6 week course in MBSR with Adrienne Beattie, MFT. The requirements - an open mind and a commitment to daily meditation. Evidence shows that after 8 weeks of mindfulness meditation training, you can change your brain structure. 

This is empowering!!! Seriously, I often hear (even in my own head sometimes) how "that's just the way things are", "things will never change" or "it's all happening to me." But research is showing us that you have the power to change your brain. 

You can increase the grey matter in your hippocampus (the center for learning and memory - so important for those of us with dementia in our family.) You can decrease the grey matter in your amygdala (the creator of stress and anxiety). Here is a link to the article.

So now what? Well,  here are some tips to get your started:

• Start of slow - just 5 minutes a day. Be aware of your breath. That's it. AND if that feels like too much, then start off 3 times a week and increase. 

• Be Kind to YOU! This is a practice...no judgement allowed. That is practice too...letting go of our self hatred, loathing or criticism.

• Don't give up - just keep practicing. This isn't a sprint. It is a life journey.

• Get to know your brain. Whatever happens in your meditation, it is simply information about your mind.

Best wishes to you as you try something new...something different. Your brain will thank you!

Is your holiday not so merry?

Emily Porta

The turkey has been gobbled and the shops have had their busiest day of the year. The air feels crisp and there are fanciful decorations all around. This should put you in the holiday spirit, right? Actually for a lot of us, the holidays are difficult, emotionally overwhelming, and something we just try to get through. Being around family can bring up old wounds and conflicts. We also might reminisce and grief further the losses of those that are not with us to celebrate any longer. Here are some tips to do more than just survive the season.

1. Give yourself some space - It is ok to be alone sometimes. Plan it and do something nice for yourself. Read that book that you have been meaning to get to, take a long bath, get in the kitchen an bake something, or rent your favorite DVD.

2. Give back - When we serve and show compassion to others, it draws us out of our pain and helps us to not feel so alone. There are lots of opportunities this time of year to donate your time and resources to those in need.

3. Surround yourself with goodness - There might be someone in your life that it is hard to be around. This is the time to set a boundary and surround yourself with people that are supportive instead. If you feel like you don't have someone to lean on, find other goodness in your life. This can be time for meditation, eating a favorite meal, watching something funny, or going for a beautiful hike. Practicing the art of appreciation can lift your mood and brighten your perspective.

4. Balance your mind - Yep, somedays are going to be better than others. But remember, this is not the movies, life isn't perfect and that is ok because the pain is temporary and isn't all encompassing. There is some good, some bad, and some neutral. When you start to despair, balance the thought with something that is positive and acknowledge that they both can exist in the same space. The more you fight to not feel the more tension arises in your body and mind. This can be exhausted. Work to find the lightness in your heart.

These are just a few quick ways to cope with the holidays. Call me if you want to talk more about ways you can cope 714.390.1652

May you find meaning in this season- meaning in the pain and the joy.