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The Blog

Filtering by Tag: selfish

Resource for Parents

Emily Porta

If I come across a great resource, I like to share it! Especially if it can help remove barriers in relationships or barriers to therapy. When I meet with parents, I like to find out what they do to take care of each other and nurture their relationships. Some think it is too selfish to take time away from the kids. (See what I think about the word "selfish" here) But another issue that can come up is simply logistical - who is going to watch the kids? It is hard to find people you trust to watch your children. This, by the way, can be a reason why a couple is avoiding going to couples therapy. I met today with a great guy, Jeremy Rose. He runs College Nannies and Tutors in Irvine. What I love about this business is that not only are their staff trained and have an extensive background check, but you don't have to have a nanny in the traditional daily, 9-5 sense. They provide nannies for a one time event, emergencies, or for those with after school needs. So if you have been putting off spending time with your partner because of childcare issues, check them out. 

Are you selfish?

Emily Porta

What do you need in your life? Love? Happiness? Security? You can make a list but at some point, people can get uncomfortable with expressing their needs. That feeling of being uncomfortable can sometimes come a fear of being selfish. I want to really stress the meaning of being selfish. Selfishness is when we are devoted to ourselves alone, no matter the cost to others. So when you want to do something, have something, be something, take a moment and be honest with yourself. I bet you might find that you are NOT BEING SELFISH. But that fear can get in the way of you obtaining your hopes and dreams. The fear of being selfish results in people silencing their desires and then becoming a victim of their fear. We can get stuck. When you incorporate these negative storylines, we only hurt ourselves. Take a moment and think about what you have really wanted in your life. Dream big - it's a good thing!